Short Story

Being the end of the semester I've been doing a lot of writing. In between that I need to find something to do to relax, so of course, it's more writing. Not that this is a bad thing. The finished product might be crap, but at least it's getting put to paper.

Anyway, this story is a nice parody of my hatred of SUV owners. To clarify, I don't hate everyone who drives and SUV, or are SUV drivers by default assholes and bad parents. But I have noticed some patterns when it comes to people who drive big trucks. One, they all universally seem to have some kind of confidence issue, and the first thing I assume when I see a man driving an SUV is, "So you've got penis size issues then." Second, SUVs are a symbol of wealth, and as such people trying to fit into some kind of 'Merican Apple-Pies-And-Cash dream get one to prove that they are better than the rest of us small, foreign car driving peons. But the last thing is the most interesting to me. SUVs are hailed as the safest cars around, and a tendency to flip over when making a turn aside, they are. You, the driver, are half as likely to die in a head-on accident if you are driving an SUV. But, you are twice as likely to kill the person you hit. I'm quite sure most people who drive the things aren't even aware of this, but even if they were, they wouldn't care. They have the safety their fat-faced snotty kids deserve and fuck everyone else who gets in the way. Right, parents? Am I right?

Anyway, here's the story, in glorious PDF format.