Back.

...from Hell. I shouldn't say that. In retrospect, I think I had more fun that I realized, but it is difficult to notice said fun when you are getting your phone shut off because the idiot office staff fucked up your paycheck. But I'm willing to let that go. Anyway, instead of summing up my EOF experience with all the gory details, I'm putting a conclusions in the form of an open letter. Once again I take my post as the one who leads America's sacred cows to the slaughterhouse. Regular readers despair: it's not exactly funny.

To Assistant Dean Santana and EOF Office Staff,

Now that the summer 2008 EOF program has concluded, I feel I am more apt and able to speak my mind. There are two reasons for this: first, the pressure of performing my duties as a tutor are absent and second, I have the benefit of hindsight and time to draw serious, meaningful conclusions from this experience.

As a rule, I never sign anything without first knowing every detail of what it is I am getting myself into. In general, this is good advice, and is mainly taken with things such as bank accounts, credit card applications, loans, car payments, and other such contract-oriented agreements: reading the fine print. In my last few days in the program, it was brought to my attention that the students were placed at their respective levels as incoming freshmen completely on their SAT scores. Given the copious amount of research into standardized testing and its tentative but overwhelmingly concordant results, the SAT is a very flawed test. One does not need to study the questions to score well, only the test itself. And, like standardized IQ tests, it is not an accurate representation of an individual's intelligence. This is evident in the fact that there are classes and guides built specifically to prepare students for the SAT. They do not teach facts, comprehension, models, or anything that can be applied outside of the test, only the test itself. This, as any college student will argue, is very different than the actual kind of work they will encounter.

Why, then, were the students and tutors led to believe that the classes and pre and post tests the students were given placed them? What is the point of five weeks of excruciating work if the game ended before the students even got to roll the dice? The only thing the classes get the kids are professor recommendations, which nobody is at all obligated to follow. It seems as though the EOF program runs in contradiction to the advice, "Read the fine print." In this case, there was no fine print to read: you just kept your mouth shut and hoped nobody would ask.

The program here at Stockton has a sort of militaristic ring to it. Students, tutors and professors alike are bought in not quite knowing what they are getting into, and must quickly adjust to an alien living space with, frankly, ridicules rules. They are taught to applaud those in a position higher than them, but comply not out of the respect you hope to instill, but out of fear of being punished. They are taught to be on time to class, not out of the work ethic you hope to instill, but out of fear of being punished. They are taught to smile and show school spirit not out of actual praise for the institution, but out of fear of being punished. Conditioning one for success does not make one successful, just as conditioning an athlete for running does not mean they will be a good kick-boxer or accountant. The tools these kids have been given are a kind of one-trick pony. What will happen when that trick gets old?

Additionally, the enforcement of mandatory tutoring and library work for these students is ludicrous. Had you consulted with anyone who works in the tutoring center (me, for example) you would know that the writing lab specifically is understaffed and unequipped to handle 77 new freshmen, all who require two days a week of tutoring. This will not only burden the tutors, and thus reduce the quality of our work, but it will create backups during busy weeks. Additionally, this semester we are in the unique position of having very few trained tutors (5, including me) and an overflow of untrained tutors in the Practicum class. That aside, just how long do you intend to hold these kids' hands? You cannot force them into doing well in writing and math, and some of the kids will probably not require tutoring services, so it just hurts them by wasting their time. Part of college, from a parents point of view, is letting go. Parents must realize that their children are now adults and must pull their own weight in terms of classwork. So must you.

And while I'm at it, for Christ's sake, get presenters who know the plural of deer.

My overall feeling of the Stockton EOF program is that it looks great on paper. 77 out of an original 80 students made it through - wonderful - except you don't mention that they are admitted normally by SAT scores, like every other freshman, and even failing their EOF summer classes is considered acceptable. Students will be seen using the writing and math centers, but not because they are hard working; their grade and academic standing depend on it.

As far as my personal feelings, I believe the kids will eventually suffer from this. They are being led along through college for too long, and when that guiding hand releases it's grip, they will be lost, and in their second year, when things become much more serious. I worry for those who felt it was necessary to sign up for a five-year Master's program, bright-eyed and eager, not realizing they may hate the thing to which are are signing their future. I do not feel as though I helped the kids to the best of my ability because my job depended so much upon me keeping everyone happy and in line. I have done little more than help a typical American company (and have no illusions: a college is a company) limp its way toward a pathetic, pitiless terminal breath, satisfying the facade of academic success instead of academic success itself. My part in all of this accomplished nothing.

Our constitution states that it is not only the ability of a citizen to question his government, but the responsibility of that citizen to question his government. In writing this, I am simply complying with the wishes of those great men who founded this land. I am questioning you, and I expect answers. My concerns, keep in mind, begin and end with the kids. If I am not mistaken, this is your belief as well.