Foiled Again

I love NASA. I think that space exploration is one of the human race's better endeavors, and I support it with the energy and fervor I usually reserve for being misanthropic or eating cake. But I can sort of see where some of the criticisms of them being time wasters and money-eaters come from. A few days ago, the Phoenix lander safely arrived on Mars to do some soil testing. Bravo, well done. Now NASA has to send the space shuttle up to the ISS (International Space Station) on an emergency mission to fix the toilet.

The humor in the situation is obvious (and as such I'm going to try and get through this without a poop joke), and it isn't like toilets are these Herculean machines made of frozen strong that take cleaning chemicals and dirty water and products of the less family-friendly human orifices by the ton every day but they stay on track no matter what, God damn it. Point is, the things break. And apparently, even space toilets on space stations in space break.

It does make me wonder why nobody thought to pack supplies to fix it on board the station itself. I mean, it has people on it. People make some nasty by-products. And launching the space shuttle is expensive; taxpayer money too. Yes, you, me, and every other red-blooded American is sending a small part of our dollars to send a space shuttle to fix a space potty. In space. I know that when the power dies at my house a small part of me panics thinking, "Where is it all going to go?" But those guys are on a motherfucking space station. Popping outside for a quick wee is not exactly an option.

Critics of NASA have long said that they use too much time and money on useless endeavors, and while I'll argue that sending a man to Mars is a pretty useless endeavor (unless it's Ewe Boll minus one spacesuit) sending an entire space shuttle to fix the pot may not be useless, but it sure is wasteful. And I can't imagine the poor guys up there, thinking, "Oh Christ, it's everywhere!"

...

shit piss wee urine pee-pee turds chocolate logs land mines droppings defecation urination whiz dump spoor stool giant PILES OF CRRAAAPPPPP!

God damn it.